Forever Guilty
by Shadow Padawan
Summary: Shortly after being promoted to Captain of an Auror squad, Teddy Lupin is sent on a mission to apprehend former Death Eater, Antonin Dolohov. He ends up getting a lot more than he bargained for.


**Title:** Forever Guilty  
**Author: **Shadow Padawan  
**Characters: **Teddy Lupin, Antonin Dolohov, Augustus Rookwood, OCs  
**Rating:** PG  
**Warnings: **mild, mostly non-graphic violence, minor character death  
**Word Count:** 3,696  
**Summary: **Shortly after being promoted to Captain of an Auror squad, Teddy Lupin is sent on a mission to apprehend former Death Eater, Antonin Dolohov. He ended up getting a lot more than he bargained for.  
**Notes:** Written for the **Teddy_fest** on LJ.

* * *

Auror Teddy Lupin had a bad feeling about the whole thing.

He had been promoted to head of squad and at age thirty which was quite the impressive achievement. For him the promotion meant finally being in the loop with things going on in the department. The rank and file Auror tended to just follow orders and not ask questions. The other day, when he was called in to talk to Jonas, who was head of precinct now, he hadn't expected to have an operation on his hands so quickly.

"Antonin Dolohov. Does the name ring a bell?" Jonas had asked calmly, shuffling some papers.

Teddy nodded. "Former Death Eater. He was imprisoned with the rest after Voldemort fell." _He killed my father_, he added silently.

Jonas made a face. "So they haven't told you? Well, I guess the fewer people know the better."

"What do you mean, sir?"

"I mean that Dolohov was never imprisoned. Nor was Rookwood. Somehow they had made a run for it. There were probably others but we didn't know everyone in their rank and file, just the big names. Anyways, Rookwood's doing fine in Romania, or so intelligence says. Dolohov was somewhere in Eastern Europe, mostly lying low. We didn't bother going after them. If they weren't in the county and causing too much chaos they weren't worth the trouble. We decided it would be better for us at that point to just say that we got everyone and earn ourselves some much needed extra points."

Teddy closed his eyes, processing the information. "Well, let me guess: now he's back."

"He is. We decided to watch him first but if someone saw him and if something happened…we don't want the extra questions or anything happening so we're gonna ring the alarm and say he's escaped. You're going to take your boys out there to where we think he's hiding out and finish him off. If he'd just stayed away like his buddy Rookwood…but that's the difference between them. Rookwood's a politician, more, a spy…Dolohov was second-in-command after Voldemort himself. Man like that - he's always got something he has to come back and finish."

Teddy nodded slowly, looking uncertain. "Sir, if I might ask, why are you sending my squad? A bunch of young boys just out of the academy along with a just-promoted captain? Shouldn't a more experienced unit be sent?"

Jonas laughed heartily. "Theodore, this sounds harder than it is. You probably grew up on old war stories but Dolohov isn't the brash, sharply intelligent, agile and powerful, 40-something commander he was during the second war. He's an aging man - mid seventies - worn out and jaded by wars, Azkaban, exile, defeat. His skills and agility are going. He might have experience on you but you've got the numbers and the surprise element. I think this is a good chance to get the boys out there. Don't underestimate him, but he's not the man he once was."

Teddy acted like he understood and agreed, then went to inform his team. The one thing that Teddy wasn't seeing was how Jonas was so confident that they had surprise on their side. His gut told him that Dolohov had a pretty good idea that he was being watched. He just didn't think a man of his expertise would come blind into a country where he stood the chance of being hunted.

As he approached the cabin in a densely wooded area that was supposed to be Dolohov's hideout with his squad, Teddy felt the uneasiness grow. He knew it wouldn't be as easy as going in and arresting the man. Nothing worthwhile was ever that easy. The area was quiet, too quiet, and Lupin bid his squad land and stock their brooms at least two miles within range of the coordinates they were given.

"You're wound up, boss," Gregory Edgecombe, who was the most talkative Auror Teddy had ever met, commented.

"What? My hair gives me away?" Teddy muttered, knowing very well that despite limited morphing abilities that he had inherited from his mother, his hair was very sensitive to his moods and had a tendency to glow dark green when he was on edge.

"Yea," Edgecombe agreed. "I thought this wasn't going to be that hard?"

"We've never actually fought a REAL dark wizard, Greg," Andy Thomas piped up from the back of formation as they finished stacking their brooms and formed a semi-circle for conference. "Just, you know, the odd psycho or overzealous Durmstrang graduate with an inclination to experiment. My dad fought in the war, he told me-"

"Half our dads or uncles or mums or someone fought in the damned war," Lars Finnigan muttered, scuffing one foot over the dirt.

Teddy held up a hand for silence. The boys around him fell quiet almost instantly despite their obvious excitement. All of them had heard plenty of Death Eater horror stories but now that it was time to face one none of them were quite confident whether they should rely on the information they had received as impressionable children. "Listen to me, you lot. This will not be the toughest operation of your career but what Dolohov has on us - all of us - is a hell of a lot of experience and knowledge of the area. I want all of you to stay focused and remember your training. Mark, Miles, do a sweep now." The Creevey boys disappeared among the trees in the descending twilight. Teddy took a deep breath, pulling his Auror cloak tighter around himself. Everyone stayed silent until the Sweepers returned with their reports.

"Anti-Apparation barriers starting a little under a mile off," Mark started without any preludes. "We can't tell if there are any Blood wards but we would have to get closer for those at any rate. We can't sense any detectors or alarms but those could be hidden depending on the spell used. I think it is safe to say that we've got another unrestricted half mile in front of us."

"I think the coordinates we were given are slightly skewed. I'd say we're about a mile, mile and a half at best, off from target right now and we need to head North not Northwest."

Lupin nodded thoughtfully. "We won't break the anti-Apparation barriers," he said finally. The boys looked between themselves and murmurs of surprise and uncertainty passed throughout the group. "It'll be safer this way," Teddy attempted to explain. "If there are hidden alarm charms, us breaking through the field will definitely set them off and that will give Dolohov a head start. We need to at least attempt to retain our element of surprise."

They set of North at a stealthy, steady walk, carrying their brooms under one arm, spreading out when they felt the anti-Apparation field's initial weight on them. Teddy kept his hand tightly fisted around his wand, chocolate brown eyes - that sometimes turned green and sometimes darkened to black - scanned the wooded area for any suspicious motion which was proving difficult in the increasing darkness. The stillness of the air was heavy and the absence of sound from any living thing was discomforting. One time a mouse scampered through the grass, making Teddy catch his breath and the youngest of their group - Sean Abbott - draw his wand. Suddenly, long before Teddy had expected it, a dim yellow light appeared straight ahead, slivering like a snake through the foliage. Teddy made a halting gesture. "Spread out," he muttered in a hurried half whisper. "Standard formation. Mark, Miles, up in the air. Thomas and Finnigan, Smith and Andrews take the flanks. Wood and Abbott, to the back. Edgecombe, you're with me." The sudden and synchronized movement of his team calmed Teddy's nerves for a few moments. The rear group went first, flying around the one-story but rather spread-out cabin and meeting up at the back. The side groups went second to take their posts. Teddy looked over to Edgecombe and they began to glide on foot, sliding silently through bushes…

It all went downhill when the Creeveys took to the air. They started out slowly, rising gently to tree level. Then, feeling the expanse of sky above them, they put on a burst of speed. Teddy couldn't be sure if Mark had cried out in surprise or as an attempt of a warning. All he saw when he turned back was two of his boys tumbling off their brooms and crashing to the ground like two sacks of potatoes. The boys had obviously hit some sort of magic barrier that they hadn't sensed was there.

The rest happened too quickly for Teddy to orient himself properly. Flashes of light came flying out of the trees on both side of the cabin. A dark-cloaked shape descended from the trees on either side. Smith was hit with something that looked like the killing curse. Andrews was thrown back against the wall and was forced to fight from a kneeling position. Thomas must have seen the curse coming because he had ducked it. Finnigan managed to throw up a shield but the force of the curse threw him off his feet. Abbott and Wood came soaring from the back. Twin curses flew at the two flyers from either side. Wood pulled up sharply to avoid one of them. Abbott, inexperienced as he was, rolled the broom avoiding the curse himself but allowing it to hit the broom. The broom snapped in half with a sickening crunch. The boy cried out as he fell head first to the ground.

Teddy's mind was racing. Two. There were two of them. Why? Jonas was sure Dolohov was alone. To top it all off, whoever was with him wasn't an amateur fighter either. At first he just froze, awaiting orders, before his brain caught up with itself and he remembered that he was the one who was supposed to give orders now. No one to make the decisions for him. His life, and that of his boys, was in his hands. The realization was paralyzing. He wondered if Uncle Harry had ever felt like this during the war. Had his father ever been thrust into a situation were everything depended on him? Suddenly, Teddy wished he had paid more attention to the war stories of his childhood.

"Boss, we gotta go, we gotta go," Greg was saying anxiously, already in the process of getting on his broom. Something about the wide-eyed expression on the boy's face made Teddy's mind clear.

"No. Edgecombe, lay low, find a place and lay low. I need you to break the barrier. As fast as you can. We need that anti-Apparation barrier down." He glanced over his shoulder to see Andrews fall over, face forward into a puddle of what might have been blood, his body bound from head to foot with magically conjured ropes. Wood was still flying circles around his opponent but the tail of his broom had been clipped off but he was a better flyer than a ground fighter - took after his father, Oliver, in the flying skills - so he kept to the air. On the other side, Finnigan and Thomas were putting up a good fight but even with a two-to-one ratio they couldn't seem to get the upper hand. Teddy turned back to Edgecombe. "You understand, Gregory?"

"Yes, sir."

"Shout the code word when you're done."

"Giraffe. Got it." Greg disappeared into the darkness.

Lupin didn't dare wander into the shadows in this unknown terrain. He shot a curse from where he stood at the man fighting Wood. The man saw it coming and ducked. His hood flew off and he edged into the lightpool created by the open door of the cabin. Dolohov.

Lupin held back a gasp. This was his first sight of the man he was here to hunt and apprehend. The man that he had heard so much about. His hair turned a bright shade of magenta at the staggering meaning of the moment despite the desperate situation. Dolohov was a tall, strongly built man. He was obviously aging but he had probably been very handsome in his youth. Though his hair was obviously fading into grey now, a light tint of chestnut brown shown through. The former Death Eater's light eyes were sharp and intelligent. Every motion was filled with a battle elegance that few, even very experienced and very talented, Aurors could boast. Teddy had the brief thought that had Dolohov been an Auror and not a Death Eater, he would have been his idol.

He attempted to buy Wood time by sabotaging Dolohov with streams of curses from the shadowed treeline but with limited results. Finally, Wood decided to abandon his beaten up broom. He attempted to jump off during one of Teddy's distractions but landed on one knee rather than both feet. Dolohov threw a curse of his own at Teddy, giving himself the split second he needed to turn and attack an off-balance Wood. Wood attempted to shield himself with his wand. The wand snapped in two. Dolohov didn't bother to turn back toward Teddy, just pointed his wand at Wood.

"Come out and fight like you have some honor, Lupin, and I'll let him live."

Teddy bit his lip, thinking. He could attempt to hit Dolohov with something. The way the man was standing he might not see it in time and have a chance to react either to defend himself or hurt Wood. He looked to where Finnigan and Thomas were now fighting in the light. The man fighting them was Rookwood. Thomas was limping heavily and Finnigan was working double hard. Rookwood seemed a bit strained to keep up with both of them but not at all running out of strength.

"I know it's you, Lupin," Dolohov continued in the same infuriatingly calm tone. "I know it by your cowardly fighting manner. That's how your father fought."

Teddy felt something inside him break. Uncle Harry had told him such wonderful things about his father and he had always imagined his father a hero. He had also always longed to have known his parents, to have those family moments that all his friends did. To hear his father's slayer, the man who had deprived him of a family, talk in such a way about his father was enough to make Teddy lose his restraint. He launched into the light, wand drawn and a curse already on his lips. Dolohov threw a binding curse at Wood - almost offhandedly, as though disposing of a fly - and turned to face Teddy with something between a smirk and a snarl. Later Teddy would realize that that expression was probably the last thing his father saw.

Teddy had always loved dueling. He had suffered horribly in DADA at school from the lack of application of the material learned in class. Dueling seemed to be in his blood. He took to it naturally and his hands itched to be on a wand. Now dueling Dolohov, he saw nothing before himself but his opponent, a burning feeling to defeat the former Death Eater, to avenge his parents, to establish himself as someone who had at least something to do with the great Second War other than dead parents. He was intent on attacking and parrying, evading and outflanking that Rookwood's loud, just slightly breathless, "Done, Tony," came as a complete shock. Dolohov stopped attacking and backed up a couple of steps, his wand still pointed at Teddy. Teddy risked a glanced to one side. A disarmed Finnigan knelt beside an unconscious but still-breathing Thomas.

"You didn't expect it to end this way, did you, Lupin?" Dolohov taunted. There was a sick sort of pleasure in his voice mixed with something bitter and almost pained. Teddy felt his head real. He raised his wand but Dolohov cut him off. "Let's talk, Lupin."

"Why should I?" Teddy spat out, adrenaline rushing to his head just thinking about continuing the duel. "You told me to come out and fight like I had honor. So why don't you do the same?"

"How about this, Lupin: you listen and Augustus will let your boys live for at least a little longer."

Something, maybe training and common sense, were telling Teddy that he should let Dolohov talk and keep him talking to give Greg some time to break down the anti-Apparation field. "My men are ready to sacrifice themselves to ensure the safety of this country," Lupin declared with head held high. Inside, he felt absolutely disgusted with himself that he could even suggest such a complete sacrifice.

Dolohov laughed harshly. "I wouldn't be surprised. Young men often look for a cause to serve. The nobler the better. How long have you been Captain, Lupin?"

"Just as of recent," Teddy answered carefully, not sure where this was going.

"Bind them, Augus," Dolohov said calmly to Rookwood.

"No games, Tony. Let's just get out of here," Rookwood muttered but threw a binding curse at Finnigan.

"I didn't smuggle you into the country so that we could play 'Get Away From the Aurors' for old times sake," Dolohov snapped. "Lupin, that boy there-" he pointed to an unconsciously Abbott who lay curled up on the ground, his body at an unnatural angle. "-Is he your youngest?"

Teddy nodded mutely. The sight of Abbott broken and helpless like that… Lupin bit his lip, tightening the grip on his wand. He felt responsible, terribly responsible. Abbott was just out of the academy, he should have never taken the boy along. .

"How old?" Dolohov pried. "Early twenties?"

"Just twenty-two," Lupin muttered.

"Don't talk to him, boss!" Finnigan pied up.

"Shut up," Rookwood snapped, hitting Finnigan with the Cruciutus followed by a muting spell.

Teddy fought not to look. "What do you want, Dolohov? For me to let you go?"

"I want you to know, Lupin, that you are just starting to understand what it means to be in charge of a squad, of boys years younger than you. Boys you can't help but grow attached to. I knew the sort of person your father was so I know that if you are anything like him you will blame yourself for every boy that dies under your command."

"What do you want?" Lupin repeated more loudly, raising his wand.

"When I dueled your father," Dolohov continued matter-of-factly, "he shouted all sort of things at me in his anger. I got from his rambling what I knew was a widespread opinion about the commanding officers of the Lord. That we not only harmed the lives of people who didn't support our cause but we also sacrificed our own people. That one war wasn't enough, that we followed Voldemort even though he had obviously become an insane psychopath, not just a separatist ideology leader."

Teddy, wand still raised, stood listening as though in a trance. The Wars had always been such a mysterious thing. New things, hidden, secret things seemed to float up all the time. Not that he didn't believe in the Cause of the Light and in the evilness of Voldemort… He was mesmerized by the possible knowledge he might gain from hearing out this completely new perspective.

"The boys who fought in the first war begged to be trained, begged to be allowed to fight. We took these boys and taught them what we knew. We sent them into battle knowing that they wanted to die for what they believed in, even though such a desire was propelled by foolish youth. I see the way you look at your youngest, the horror in your eyes at his possibly fate. And I see the self blame. Twenty-two wasn't young back then. We had boys fighting before they were of age. My personal protégée died not a month after he graduated Hogwarts. They arrested us, Lupin, but they didn't need the boys, even the talented ones. They killed as many of them as they could get their hands on. You might think it's just but I might think it is just that your boys will die."

"You don't expect me to let you go because of this sob story, do you?" Teddy snarled. He had noticed Rookwood doing something with his wand off to the side and he supposed he must be working against Greg to keep the anti-Apparation field up.

His suspicions were confirmed when Dolohov said, "Enough, Augus, let him break it." Rookwood ceased his fidgeting. Instantly, Lupin began to feel the field losing strength. He hoped Greg would think to call for reinforcements. "You will let us go because Rookwood will kill off each of your boys one by one until you do. Starting with Abbott."

Teddy launched forward, throwing his strongest curse at Dolohov. The older wizard had a hard time parrying it but he managed to put up a defense and even return the attack. From the corner of his eye he saw Rookwood raise his wand. Lupin threw himself into the fight but realized that Dolohov would be able to hold him off until every boy here was dead.

The flash of green light cut across Teddy's vision like a sharp dagger stabbing his heart. Merlin.

Rookwood raised his wand over Thomas.

"Stop!" Teddy cried out. "We'll let you go!" He stopped his attacks and only held his wand ready to ward off any attacks.

The anti-Apparation field fell. From somewhere in the distance came Greg's shout of, "Giraffe!"

Rookwood backed away from the downed Aurors and toward Dolohov.

"There were various reasons for fighting the second war. For most of us, we had no other choice. But the motivation to fight came from the knowledge that we owed our boys, the boys who had died for us." The expression on Dolohov's face was indescribable. "Know this, Lupin, you will start at the commanding post as one person, and you will come off it as another." With an almost silent popping sound, the two men Disapparated.

The next morning, Teddy Lupin turned in his resignation letter to the Head of Department and applied to the Wizarding Medicine Training Academy.

He didn't want to end up like that - forever guilty.


End file.
